John Hinckley Jr.'s Never Ending Quest
It's not that different from yours. or mine.
Moira: Okay so before we start, is it alright if I record this?
John: Yes, no problem.
Moira: Okay, great. I am recording
John: Where are you?
Moira: Um, I live in Philadelphia. Um.
John: Philadelphia.
Moira: Yes, so, also on the- Eastern Standard Time Zone. Em- okay so- I just want to make sure before we start, I’m expecting this will take an hour. Is that alright with you?
JHJ: Oh- no. I can’t do an hour.
M: Okay, how long can you do?
JHJ: Thirty minutes.
M: Thirty minutes? That’s perfect, okay. Totally fine. Okay so- before we get started- or, I guess, to get started, would you mind telling me a bit about what’s been going on in your own words?
JHJ: Well, you know, I got my unconditional release in June of 2022. I’ve been trying to make a career as a singer-songwriter. I have about forty or forty-five songs of mine-
M: Mhm.
JHJ: On all the streaming services.
M: Mhm.
JHJ: Spotify and all of em.
M: Yeah.
JHJ: Uh, I, if anyone wants to hear them. Same- same with Youtube.
M: Yeah- I have listened to them. I watched some of your videos yesterday. Um-
JHJ: You- you like my songs?
M: Yeah! Yeah I think they’re great. Um, I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about your song Never Ending Quest? Could you tell me what that’s about?
JHJ: Uh- it’s just a, it’s just a, um- generalized idea of you know quest to redeem myself through my music and through my art and start a new life away from the life I had for so many years of being confined. And, uh, I’m just always on a never ending question for something better.
M: Okay. Could you tell me- so, I think any artist would feel that their music, paintings, whatever deserve to be seen deserve to be heard- could you tell me specifically why your music should be heard and should be performed in front of people?
JHJ: Well, I think it’s good. I think, I think I’m a good songwriter. I think I have a good message in my songs of hope and uh peace and love uh my songs are not downer songs they’re uplifting songs.
M: Mhm.
JHJ: And- I tell people if they want to get to know me- to listen to my music.
M: Sure.
JHJ: You know, if you don’t wanna hear my music- don’t hear it- but, I put it out there for those who do want to hear it.
M: Mhm. Definitely. Um- so, I watched also the music video for uh Never Ending Quest. I- so, in the video, you’re performing, and then there is a crowd- I’m assuming that was not in front of an actual crowd. Is that correct?
JHJ: It wa- the video’s gonna be part of a documentary that’s coming out-
M: Oh interesting- when is that coming out?
JHJ: Uh, in a few months- this summer or early fall. It’s a documentary, it’s gonna be called Redemption.
M: Okay.
JHJ: And tha- that music video is from that documentary. It was, it was, yeah, I mean, there was some people there-
M: Okay.
JHJ: But it’s not an actual concert.
M: Yeah. Was that footage added in of, like, a different- of a different crowd?
JHJ: Yeah, I mean you know how- the filmmaker did that part.
M: Okay cool. Mm, okay- uh, I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about your life before you went to college?
Pause.
JHJ: Before I went to college- well I was, you know, I grew up in Dallas Texas. I had a good upbringing. My parents were good to me- my father provided for our family well. But I just- I got alienated from my family, and that was a big mistake.
M: How did that happen?
JHJ: Well, I went off to college- I was kind of by myself. And depression developed.
M: Mhm.
JHJ: And isolation developed. And, uh, I got away from God I got away from my family. And that’s what led to further depression and isolation. And um it went on for about six or seven years- until 1981- when I committed my crime.
M: Mhm. Um, in the time between when you were in college and 1981, you spent some time in California, correct?
JHJ: Right.
M: Could you tell me a bit about what you did there, what your days were like there?
JHJ: I was tryna be a songwriter- I went out there to break into the music business. I was living in Hollywood back in- I think it was 1976. And um I was just trying to make it into the music business, but I didn’t have the wherewithal to do it because of my, my depression and stuff. But I was trying. But I was just going about it the wrong way.
M: Mm. So, um- back in the 70s- I know that it’s quite easy now to get a depression diagnosis and get, uh, you know, medication and help for that. If you had sought medication- did you seek help- did you seek uh psychiatric help? What’s the situation there?
JHJ: Not at that point.
M: Okay.
JHJ: But after I came back from Hollywood, my parents were living in Colorado, and um- I sought help around 1980 through my- with my parents’ help, and I got put on some medication- an antidepressant. Around 1980.
M: Okay.
JHJ: Yeah, I sought help at that point.
M: Do you feel, um, can I ask also- when you were in California- did you, I mean, this was California in the 70s; did you experiment with any drugs? What was your-
JHJ: No I never was a drug- I never was a drug user.
M: Have you used any drugs other than the ones prescribed to you in your life?
Pause.
JHJ: I mean- over the counter, but nothing illegal.
M: Okay. Cool. Um- yeah that’s interesting. A lot of my family hitchhiked out there around the same time and really liked drugs, so um-
JHJ: I mean there was a big- I mean I agree there was a big drug scene out there. There probably still is- but especially in the 70s-
M: What kept you from participating in that?
JHJ: [coughs] Um, I just never got into it.
M: Okay, you mentioned before that you had gotten away from your relationship with God. Do you feel like that relationship has been rec- like, do you have a faith belief system now?
JHJ: Oh yes I absolutely do. Yes I do.
M: Okay- uh, what would you- how would you classify that, like, do you have a specific denomination- what is- what’s your faith system?
JHJ: Well I was, I was raised Episcopalian, but I’m not that now- I’m just, I’m just, a spiritually-minded person now, you know, a strong belief in God and Jesus.
M: Okay.
JHJ: Um, yeah, I don’t think I’d be sitting here talking to you right now-
M: Yeah-
JHJ: If God hadn’t pulled me through many-a situation.
M: Sure- yeah, definitely. Um- can you tell me a bit about- so you’ve expressed in many of your interviews that you feel a lot of remorse for what you did- em, can you tell me when- can you identify a certain point or a certain period of time when you first started to feel remorse for what you’d done to Jodie Foster?
JHJ: It was after my confinement in 1981- I was starting to receive therapies and medications at the hospital. And I developed a long-term relationship with Leslie deVeau, and she brought- she kind of brought me back to reality.
M: Okay.
JHJ: Um, I’ve always maintained that- that Leslie is the one person who really brought me back to reality, and that’s when I started developing remorse for what I did.
M: Okay- are you, um, sorry I’m not familiar with her- are you still in contact? Is she still-
JHJ: No no she- she’s passed on.
M: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry to hear that.
JHJ: [inaudible]
M: Could you tell me about your relationships now? I know that you’re living in Williamsburg- uh-
JHJ: Mhm.
M: I imagine that it would be quite hard to make friends, you know, after everything that’s happened. Could you tell me a little bit about how you’ve gone about, uh, cultivating new relationships?
JHJ: Well it’s hard cause of who I [coughs] cause of who I am. I have some, some friends and some people help me with my music career. Um- I kind of have a manager who’s helping me with my music career now.
M: Mhm.
JHJ: Um, but yeah, just on a day to day basis, it’s hard for me to make friends in Williamsburg cause um- I’m trying to live this quiet life-
M: Yeah.
JHJ: Down here and I don’t want to- cause a lot of problems you know with people who are- you know I mean I- I’m always very cautious of who I try to make friends with because of my- past.
M: Sure. Do you worry that people might take advantage of you?
JHJ: Oh, yeah. Sure.
M: Okay. Um, oh, I watched- speaking of that, I watched your Piers Morgan interview from last year, um, do you- I wanted to ask if you could just tell me how you felt during and after that interview? If that’s okay?
JHJ: How I felt? Well, it’s just one more- it’s just one more interview in my opinion.
M: [laughs] Um- it seemed to me that a lot of the questions he asked, I mean- he seemed to be very, um- I don’t know he was just pretty relentless, em-
JHJ: Well, he’s a jerk.
M: Yeah. [laughs]
JHJ: I hate to say it, but, uh, he’s a jerk so I wasn’t surprised by his being- if you wanna call it relentless.
M: Yeah.
JHJ: Um, but yeah I’ve done a lot of- well I’ve not done a lot of interviews, but I’ve done more than that one- I mean, I wasn’t surprised by the way he was.
M: Why did you agree to do it?
JHJ: Um, there was a time after my release when I was getting tons of interview requests-
M: Mhm.
JHJ: And they were- and they just kept and kept asking and asking and asking and, um, I just finally did it.
M: Okay. How did you feel after you did it?
JHJ: I mean I was- you know I didn’t, it didn’t bother me but- you know, as I say it just doesn’t- I knew, I knew what it was gonna be like going in because of his, of his reputation.
M: Sure. Um, okay- can I ask you, um, I read that you wrote to Ted Bundy. Um- at a certain point. Can I ask you-
JHJ: I don’t wanna- I don’t wanna talk about all that.
M: Oh, that’s okay. I mean I was just going to ask- why- if you could just tell me your motivation why? We don't have to-
JHJ: I just- I just didn’t wanna get into that.
Part 1 of 2. The second part of our conversation will be released here next Sunday. Thanks for reading.
Thank you for your service, Hinckley is one of my current special interests.